Saiyan Jokes
by Choco Evilnut
Summary: Like the title says. Not mean jokes, just jokes about our favourite saiyans. R&R. No flames please. x
1. Chapter 1

I do not own DBZ or these blond jokes.

There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day Vegeta walked into this bar. He walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the strongest person in the world' and it sucked him in.

The next day Piccolo walked into the bar. He walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I am the strongest person in the world' and it sucked him in.

Then the next day Goku walked into the bar. He walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked him in.

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Piccolo was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled him over.

The policeman walks up to Piccolo and says "Excuse me sir, could I please see your driving license and registration."

Piccolo looks at the policeman angrily and says "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

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One day Goku and Chichi were walking down to the grocery store when Chichi pointed out to Goku "oh, hey look at that dead bird.." 

Goku looks around around up in the sky for a few minutes and says "hmm, I don't see any dead ones."

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Yamcha stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!"

"Yes, Sir?" said the librarian looking up at him.

"I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!"

Puzzled by his complaint the librarian asked "What was wrong with it?"

"It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!" said Yamcha.

The librarian nodded and said, "Ahhh. So you must be the person who took our phone book."

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	2. Chapter 2 More jokes

He was tired of everyone thinking that he was stupid, and he didn't like all these jokes. To end the injustice, he decided to prove to the world that he was smart.

In order to prove himself, he chose to memorize the capital of every American state. It wasn't an easy task, but he was determined and eventually managed to do it.

A few days later he was in a bar, and heard Vegeta laughing at Goku's stupidity. This was the perfect opportunity to start righting all the wrongs that had been done to him in the past - he would set Vegeta straight!

Marching over at a rapid pace he announced,

"It isn't true that I'm stupid, and I will prove it. Just ask me the capital of any American state, and I will tell you what it is."

Although a little surprised, Vegeta did challenge him and asked,  
"Ok, how about Arizona?"

Goku, after pausing for a moments thought, proudly gave the answer,  
"A"!

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Question: If Goku and Vegeta fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?  
Answer: Vegeta- Goku would have to stop for directions!

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Goku was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under his arm. As he passed the bus stop, someone asked,

_"Where did you get that?"_

The pig replied,

_"I won him in a raffle!"_

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Yamcha and Goku were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.  
Yamcha:

_"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!_

Goku:

_Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!_

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Goku asked someone what time it was, and they told him it was 4:45. Goku, with a puzzled look on his face replied,

_"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."_

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_Author: Chapter 3 is coming up soon and thanks to the people who reviewed :D_


	3. Chapter 3 Even more Jokes

Chapter 3 of Saiyan Jokes

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One day, while Goku was out driving his car, he ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made him pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told him to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to his car and slashed the tires.

Goku started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed his windshield.

This time Goku laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all his windows and keyed his car.

Goku is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks him what's so funny.

Goku giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

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Goku and Yamcha are skydiving.

Yamcha jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -- nothing happens.

He pulls the emergency cord and still nothing.

Then Goku finally jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"

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During late spring one year, Goku was trying out his new boat. He was unable to have his boat perform, travel through water, or do any maneuvers whatsoever no matter how hard he tried.

After trying for over three days to make it work properly, he decided to seek help. He putted the boat over to the local marina in hopes that someone there could identify his problem.

Workers determined that everything from the engine to the outdrive was working perfectly on the topside of the boat. So, a puzzled marina employee jumped into the water to check underneath the boat for problems. Because he was laughing so hard, he came up choking on water and gasping for air. Under the boat, still strapped in place securely, was the trailer.

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Goku got a fishing rod for his birthday and decided to go ice fishing to make good use of his gift. Early the next morning, he got all his gear together and headed out to the ice.

When he reached his final destination, he cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly he heard a voice that said: "There are no fish in there".

So he moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told him there were no fish in there.

So he moves again, and the voice tells him there are no fish in there. So he looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at him.

"How do you know there are no fish there?" asks Goku.

So the man cooly says "Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you're going to have to pay for those holes."

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Author: Thanks to all the people who reviewed and for those who haven't well the button is just below. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Chapter 4 coming soon.


	4. Chapter 4 Lol

Saiyan Jokes

Chapter 4

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Goku, Yamcha and Goten died together in a car wreck. They found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates with St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter heaven, they had to tell him what Easter was about.

Yamcha said, "Easter is a big holiday where we give thanks, have a big feast and eat turkey."

"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in."

Goten said, "Easter is the holiday that we celebrate Jesus' being born of the virgin and give gifts to each other."

"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in, either."

Goku said, "Well, I know what Easter is all about. Easter is a Christian holiday which coincides with the Jewish Passover. After Jesus celebrated Passover with His disciples, He was betrayed by Judas and turned over to the Romans. They crucified Him on a cross. After He died, they buried him in a tomb and put a huge boulder in front of it."

"Very good!" said St. Peter.

Goku continued. "Now, every year, the Jews roll the stone away and Jesus comes out. If He sees his shadow, we have 6 more weeks of basketball."

St. Peter fainted!

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On the first day of training for parachute jumping, Goku listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.

Goku asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"

"That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."

After pondering his answer, he asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"

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Goku an Yamcha met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. Goku bet Yamcha $50 that he wouldn't jump, and Yamcha replied, "I'll take that bet!"

Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so Goku gave the Yamcha the $50 he owned. Yamcha said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." Goku said, "No. A bet's a bet."

So Yamcha said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."

Goku replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"

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Goku and Yamcha went to the pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and Goku said, "I think we're in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?"

This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, Yamcha said, "I've got an idea. We'll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours."

The next day the first blonde comes running up to Yamcha when he got home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose... they've pulled the ribbons off while they were playing."

"OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart," says Yamcha. After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars.

Again, the next day, Goku comes running up to Yamcha as soon as he gets home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose... they've pulled their collars off while they were playing."

"There's got to be some way to tell them apart," says Yamcha.

After several more hours of concentration, Goku finally comes up with another idea, "I know! Why don't you take the black one and I'll take the white one!"

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Goku, Yamcha and Pilaf were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.

Goku blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."  
Yamcha said, "No, those are elk tracks."  
Pilaf said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."  
They were still arguing when the train hit them.

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Thank-you everyone :D


	5. Chapter 5 Rofl

Chapter 5

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How do you keep Goku busy for hours?

Scroll Down. --- 

----- Scroll Up.

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Goku, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire himself out as a handyman and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. He went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for him to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"

Goku said, "How about 50 dollars?"

The man agreed and told him that the paint and ladders he would need were in the garage.

The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does he realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"

The man replied, "He should. He was standing on the porch."

A short time later, Goku came to the door to collect his money.

"You're finished already?" he asked.

"Yes," the saiyan answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the Goku added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

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Goku, Yamcha and some other people were willing to prove that they were not dumb. They established a judges panel of people to ask the questions.

On the day of the judging the people started off by asking, "What is 59 + 2?"

Goku responded by saying, "57?"

The rest of crowd said, "Give him another chance, give him another chance!"

Then they asked, "What is 15 - 5?"

Goku responded, "20, right?"

Once again the rest of the contestants screamed, "Give him another chance, give him another chance!"

The judges decided to go easier on him and asked, "What is 1 + 2?"

"3?" said Goku.

The rest of the crowd said, "Give him another chance, give him another chance!"

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Yamcha and Goku were hanging over the edge of a cliff off a piece of rope. They realize that the rope will break if one of them doesn't let go and they will both fall to their deaths. Yamcha starts this big heartwarming speech about how he is going to sacrifice himself. At the end of the speech Goku starts clapping.

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Goku's inventions:

Black highlighter

Dehydrated Water

Braille Driving Manual

Left-handed pencil

Wooden Barbecue

Glow-in-the-dark sun dial

Gasoline fire extinguisher

Battery-powered battery charger

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	6. Chapter 6 Moo

Saiyan Jokes

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One day Goku decided to go horse back riding.

After a very long search, he finally found a horse he thought he could ride. Things started off well enough, slowly trotting along, but soon the undulations started going faster and faster.

Being unexperienced at horseback riding Goku started to fall off. He tried everything, grabbing the mane, then he tried to grab the saddle, but could not hold on.

Seconds before falling off, the horse finally stopped, allowing him to get off, and gratefully thank the shopper for unplugging the mechanical horse as they were about to enter the department store.

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Goku was on vacation in Florida trying to find a pair of alligator boots to give his wife back home. He had heard her talking about them, and knew he really wanted a pair.

Finally finding a pair he thought his Chichi would like, he was upset when he got to the checkout and discovered he did not have enough money to buy them.

Being resourceful, he decided he wouldn't give up and had an idea of how he could get some alligator boots for Chichi.

Three hours later he had to admit defeat, however, as the fourth alligator he found and shot dead had already lost his alligator boots, too.

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Goku was shopping when he found a really striking stainless steel thermos. Fascinated, he picked it up examined it, and finally asked the clerk what it was.

"It's a thermos." he said. "It keeps some things hot, and other things cold."

That was all he needed to hear, and he bought the thermos.

The next day, Chichi saw the thermos on the desk, as it really was rather striking.

"What's that?" she asked.

"It's a thermos." he said. "It keeps some things hot, and other things cold."

"What have you got in it?" she queried after a moment.

He happily answered, "I have hot coffee in it for a little later this morning, and really cold iced tea for this afternoon."

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Q. How do you make Goku laugh on Saturday?  
A. Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

Q. How does Goku try to kill a fish?  
A. He drowns it. 


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